this morning I had a big cry

not an April fools joke.

It ended as it began, quite bumpy. My hand back on the damn armrest, gripping. This time I allow myself to do this without embarrassment. Holding the armrest just helps me. The wind. That damn wind. Life down below. I’m in a chair in the sky. Brown. The trees are brown. Flying. It’s fucking terrifying and wildly convenient at the same time. I roll my eyes at this thought. Let’s just land this already.